DONALD TRUMP
Résumé
— I'm the most successful person ever to run for the presidency, by far. Nobody's ever been more successful than me. I'm the most successful person ever to run. Ross Perot isn't successful like me. Romney ― I have a Gucci store that's worth more than Romney. Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest ― and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure, it's not your fault.
Experience
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2017
Became 45th president of the United States
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2016
Won election race with 77 votes more than Clinton, yippe-kee-yay!
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2015
Became the most important Republican nominating for presidential election run
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2009
Changed my mind and became Republican again
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2005
Started Trump University with Michael Sexton and Jonathan Spitalny: no grades, certificates and other bureaucracy, but program offered courses in real estate, asset management entrepreneurship, and wealth creation. 98% students gave positive reviews while studying, however some of these ungrateful gringos filed lawsuits against Trump University after the course. I had to pay $25 million to settle that...
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2002
Acquired the former Hotel Delmonico, which was renovated and reopened in 2004 as the Trump Park Avenue. I sure do like my surname!
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2001
Completed Trump World Tower and joined the Democratic Party
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1999
Started buying golf courses. They are very cheap, I have 18 of them now in USA and abroad! Also switched to the Reform Party that year
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1997
Began a multi-building development along the Hudson River, which was named Trump Place. Me and the other investors sold our shares for $1.8 billion and that was then the biggest residential sale in the history of New York City
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1996
Acquired the Bank of Manhattan Trust Building, which was a vacant seventy-one story skyscraper on Wall Street. After an extensive renovation, the high-rise was renamed the Trump Building
PERSONAL LIFE
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2006
Melania gained United States citizenship and gave birth to our son, Barron
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2005
Married her
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1998
Met my future third wife, Melania Knauss
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1999
Divorced Marla ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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1993
Married Marla and had a daughter, we named her Tiffany, because I like Tiffany & Company jewellery as well
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1992
Started affair with Marla Maples, so I had to divorce. God knows I love nice women, I love them all!
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1984
Birth of Eric Trump
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1977
My first son is born. I called him Donald, of course!
Languages
Skills
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- INCORPORATING SELLING TWITTING PARENTING
- ACING SINGING REPORTING ADVERTISING COMPETING HOSTING
- GAMBLING DATING SUING ORGANIZING
- FUNDING DEBATING ADVISING PRESBYTERIANING